Our experiences with the UK media - so far.

Today is the official publication date for Venus: The Dark Side following the name change.

Has it made any difference for the print media? Not a jot. An editor from the Sunday Telegraph wrote to say "This is a can of worms we are not prepared to open'. When I received an email from a young woman who had read the book to say she 'LOVED' it, we corresponded a bit - I'll include her story (or more accurately her 24 year old brother's story) in a separate posting - but when I explained how the UK media have not been prepared to bring the very real issues we deal with in this book, she suggested I contact Femail at The Daily Mail and Marie Claire Magazine because they write intelligent articles affecting women. She was not impressed when I forwarded a response from one of Marie Claire's commissioning editors which basically said 'We are a woman's magazine and only publish positive women's stories - we feel this would alienate our readers, therefore we are not interested.'

The Daily Mail is a saga all of its own. For non-UK readers, The Daily Mail has a daily circulation of 2.4 million copies. It is read by middle/high income people with a significant proportion of female readers. Their "Femail" section is devoted to women's issues. Being written about in the Daily Mail would provide this book with the biggest publicity we could get for the exact type of potential reader for this book - men and women.

We notified them about the forthcoming publication of this book. While on business in Cape Town late last year I received a call from The Daily Mail - they had seen the book, loved it and wanted to buy the serialisation rights. This means they would extract up to about 2,500 words from the book and turn it into a 2 page spread. You cannot pay for such publicity. We signed contracts. They engaged a reporter to 'gut' the book by finding the bits they wanted to use. Then nothing appeared in the UK. Although, independently of all this, a piece did run in the Irish version of The Daily Mail.

Then Heather Mills made her now infamous TV tirades around the world. I spoke with Andrew Morrod an editor at Femail. He commissioned me to write 2,000 words (a two page spread) about what Heather Mills had done and how it had tied in so perfectly with what we had already written about the women who are prepared to lie, cheat, make false allegations and claim victimhood when they are in fact being the aggressor. I submitted the piece on-time to Andrew. He liked what I had to say but had an issue with my writing style - it wasn't in keeping with the style of writing at Femail. So he commissioned a female features writer to interview me and create a piece blending what I'd already written. When I was told her name, I Googled her and saw a catalogue of articles she'd written in which women were invariably the victim while men were the 'baddies'. I was somewhat disheartened. I had what is know as 'copy-approval' but newspapers are famous for not complying with various contractual agreements. Any way, she wrote the piece.

I wish to commend Amanda Cable - you did a REALLY good job on it. Thank you. Everything was set to run - the next Thursday. At 4pm ish on the Wednesday Andrew Morrod got in touch to say he really liked the piece and could I add a few hundred words more to flesh out a couple of points I'd made. The pressure was on. But together we did it.

Nothing ever ran.

No one has returned my calls or emails since. My faith in the professionalism and integrity of The Daily Mail has been somewhat dented.

And this was reinforced more recently when I emailled everyone I had had contact with at The Daily Mail to share the story of the young guy I mentioned earlier. According to his sister who is really worried about him, he is about to marry a nasty woman who has already got herself pregnant by him and seems to exhibit all the behaviour traits of the women we write about in our book - not one person at The Daily Mail responded to this story - even though my email system informed me that everyone 'opened' the email I sent.

Then there was the female reporter who contacted me for an interview for The Guardian Online - a pro-woman, and some would say anti-male left wing newspaper. She actually gave me hell on the phone. I was fine about it though. At the end I asked if she was still going to write a 'knocking piece'? She then promised me that she would write a fair piece because I had made a number of very valid points. A few days later she emailled me to say she had indeed written a fair piece - so fair in fact that her features edior had 'spiked it'. It never ran.

Then there was Jessica Brinton, features editor for Style Magazine at The Sunday Times. She wrote insisting on an exclusive to run a piece about the book on a particular date. Because it was 'exclusive' we stopped promoting the book. The piece never appeared on that date or since! Ms Brinton has never responded to follow up emails or calls!

Thank goodness for BBC local radio I say. Later today I am taking part in a phone-in on BBC Radio Leeds - a female producer and a female presenter. A few weeks ago they ran a piece on domestic abuse - it was predominantly female victim/male aggressor. In the interests of fairness and journalistic integrity they are keen to discuss the other side of the story. Good for them. BBC Bristol, BBC Cumbria, BBC Tees, BBC Belfast and BBC Manchester have all done the same. Thank you.

Its a shame Radio 2's Jeremy Vine show weren't interested. Although by a very strange coincidence in the weeks after they received an advance copy of our book, they ran a series of discussions on quite a few issues we deal with in the book - but never a call for us to take part!!

We were in contact with TV's "Richard and Judy" show - another awesome publicity opportunity for "Venus: The Dark Side". They showed lots of interest but eventually cried off saying their lawyers had advised them not to tackle the subject!

In Ireland "The Late Late Show" is a phenomenon. They were interested but wanted men to come forward to tell their stories - they won't, for a variety of reasons as we discuss in the book. I then offered to tell my own experiences. The researcher then moved the goalposts by saying "We only want Irish men." Like they've never featured non-Irish guests before!

And it goes on.

Yet another tragic example

Last night I received this email from a lady who bought a pre-publication copy of our book "That Bitch: Protect Yourself Against Women with Malicious Intent." Note how she describes the man in question as 'a lovely, happy kinda guy.' This seems to be the case almost every time.


....an interesting but awful little story was regaled to me at my nail parlour today (dah-link - Zsa Zsa Gabor voice)...... I simply asked 'what is the most frequent reason for women to lose their (false) nails?' and.....ohmigod did i start her off !! She knows one guy who committed suicide only this year due to his ex-wife being so livid at his affair that she completely cut him off from his 3 kids.

They were his life and even tho' the new girlfriend hellped him financially get back on his feet, he just cldn't live without them. He was a pharmacist and had no trouble at taking his life: he set up his own morphine drip and took pills to counteract the effect. He went into a coma and died within hours. Apparently, the ex-wife had been physically man-handling him every time he tried to see the kids and wld lose her false nails every time. It was only when the nail lady had started doing the new girlfriend's nails that all became clear. He was such a lovely, happy kinda guy and he leaves behind a grieving girlfriend, 3 young children, his parents and countless friends........

So, there you go. Another sad tale - and that was without my even asking for it.

This really is the tip of the ice berg.....


I agree. There are SO many examples we've come across. Please tell everyone you know about our new book.

Radio Interviews Promoting the book

Today I visited BBC Bristol to do two 'down-the-line' interviews about our new book "That Bitch: Protect Yourself Against Women with Malicious Intent" on BBC Tees and BBC Manchester. First up ,just after 10am I talked with presenter Ms Alex Hall. She stated on a few occasions how she has met women as we describe in the book. Similarly Heather Stott claimed to recognise the specific types of woman we discuss. We had a lot of fun during the interviews. Thanks to both presenters for bringing this issue to a wider audience.

An added bonus for me was bumping into 2 BBC colleagues I hadn't seen for 15 years who are still working at BBC Points West. That's quite an achievement in the world of TV news! It was quite a shock to discover that one of them is contemplating retirement - surely he can't be old enough! He said he was 58! That can't be. If true, it means I'm getting old too! :-)

DJ Andy Kershaw Jailed

Isn’t ANYONE prepared to look at DJ Andy Kershaw’s situation from his perspective?

Thrown into jail for breaching a restraining order seems to imply that BBC Radio 3 presenter Andy Kershaw is a bad man.

But what if he isn’t?

Described by BBC colleagues as ‘unwell’, his break up with his ex-partner and the mother of his two children has been devastating for him. It appears from press reports that his ex-partner wanted to end their relationship. Obviously she has every right to do that. But could it be that her decision also included denying him contact with his children?

It is easy to imagine his utter desperation at not being allowed by her (and on her word alone) to be a father to his children.

Someone needs to find out exactly how his ex-partner managed to get awarded a restraining order in the first place. Did she make any allegations against Kershaw? If so, was she required in law to prove their validity or accuracy? Is it possible that she was economical with the truth, in order to persuade a judge to give her what she wanted, regardless of any rights Kershaw may have had? Did the courts simply believe everything they were told without question?

Is it possible that his ex-partner has behaved in a cold-hearted manner to ‘teach him a lesson’ – for daring to fight to see his children?

It has been reported that Kershaw has been drinking heavily in recent months – but has anyone asked whether this began before or after he was excluded from the lives of his children?

The guy could be ill. Shouldn’t somebody, somewhere find out how the ‘system’ was able to lock him up when he may have been so emotionally distraught that he was incapable of acting in a rational way – more a danger to himself than anybody else?

Could it be that Kershaw is a sensitive, compassionate guy who is being abused very badly?

Foot and mouth

Recent news of a Foot and Mouth outbreak in Surrey prompted a remark by a close friend. She has a long-standing friendship with a guy who owned a trucking company. Most of his business in 2001 when the horrendous Foot and Mouth epidemic devastated the livelihoods of those working in agriculture. Her friend was alarmed that he could lose everything. His business was wiped out as a consequence of the ban on transporting livestock. In a desperate move to stave off bankruptcy and protect his wife and young family, he transferred ownership of his home into his wife's name. Tragically, on his return from a trip when he was trying to drum up some business, he arrived home to find all his possessions had been dumped outside 'his wife's home'. Unknown to him, she'd been having an affair for many months. The moment the house was in her name, she threw her husband out, and her lover moved in. The husband lost everything.

The 'nice quiet guy' syndrome

I have a friend and colleague . He's a university lecturer; intelligent, articulate and used to robust thinking. When he heard about this new book, he wrote the following;
One of my friends (a really nice quiet chap) was targeted a few years ago - got married, had a kid, she kicked him out, demanded all his assets (which he gave), refused access to the child etc etc. She has just run out of money and believe it or not has now moved in with him so that he can sub her lifestyle - unbelievable!! I'll get a copy for my sons!

Why is it that the nicest, quietest, most supportive guys get abused so much?

This is one of the topics I discussed with a journalist this evening, writing for the Guardian Online. Will I be abused?I was asked if I was a misogynist? I love women. But not the nasty ones. I am passionate about helping nice, 'gentle' men from being abused by anyone who tries to take advantage of their genourous, non-confrontational attitude towards life. Some how, some women will choose to interpret this as some kind of 'attack' on all women!

LOADED Magazine interview

Yesterday I was interviewed for the first time about this book by LOADED Magazine in the UK. The journalist polled some readers of the magazine beforehand to get some idea of the dilemmas they face with the 'difficult' women in their lives.

Their questions were a revelation and provided conclusive proof to me at least that this book, "That Bitch: Protect Yourself Against Women with Malicious Intent" is needed. Some men asked why it is they always seem to attract 'nutters' and malicious women, what can you do when your girlfriend 'expects' you to pay for everything when you go out, even when she works too. One reader shared his experiences of being 'bad-mouthed' behind his back. She is the mother of their child. He is an active loving father yet she constantly 'slags him off' to his mother. In his words, it was 'doing his head in'. Interestingly, all the issues raised in the interview are already covered in the book. You'll have to wait to see what they publish - it should hit the newsstands in early September 2007.