Tuesday 21 October 2008

A Reader's Nightmare

This was written by someone who visited our facebook group:

My nightmare

I meet a woman at college, and we hit it off, became friends, and later lovers.

Several years into the relationship, she decided that she wanted to go back to college, to get a better career, and begged me to come along with her. So I did. Two months into school her behavior became strange, she would either act like she didn't know me, or would acknowledge, in a shy or uncomfortable way. (And her classmates would give me dirty looks) Things went downhill from there, she spent most of her time with one specific male classmate, the dirty looks from her classmates increased, it got to the point that she wouldn't even acknowledge my existence at school. But outside of school she acted normal, we did all the things we always did, and when I tried to question her about her behavior at school, she would tell me that either she was stressed, or that I was paranoid, so I would write it off as that, because I trusted her.

A few months went by and the situation worsened at school, odd insulting letters started showing up in her school mail box, she would go out of her way to avoid me, the whole time being escorted by 3-4 male members of her class. And outside of school, we spent less and less time together, claiming to be too busy.

The whole situation pinnacled when we went out to bar with her female friend, and her male school friend showed up unannounced (she knew he was coming) he stayed for a quick beer, then left. This was when I realized what she had done. She used me as a taxicab, so she could go have a beer with her new boyfriend. He worked around the corner from the bar.

After the fight the relationship was almost non exsistant, she would only see me at her family functions (I guess to maintain the illusion of a relationship with me) While she was secretly seeing her classmate.

After a few months of this, her parents sat me down alone, and told me things that made my hair curl.

1. she cheated her previous boyfriend out of thousands of dollars
2.she was seeing her previous boyfriend when she started her relationship with me.
3.She was a habitual liar
4.she was planning to have me arrested for stalking her (??)

I broke up with her the following day, and I simply asked her, “what happened” to which she replied with a smile on her face “I don't need you for anything, anymore” I will never forget those words.

After this, I started to talk to her classmates and question what she was telling them and I was horrified to discover what she had told them.

She told them:

That I was abusive to her, and that she was affraid of me, and too afraid to end the relationship with me.
(this is the exact same story she told me about her previous boyfriend)

She told them I had followed her back to college, to “keep a eye on her” (she begged me to go back to school with her)

And she told them I was the one sending her insulting letters (turns out she fabricated them to frame me)


She did all this for a job, the male classmate (boyfriend) was already working in the industry and got her a job at his company. She dumped him right after she got the job, and started dated one of the owners of the company

After being in a state of shock for a year, I pulled myself together, and went on with my life, thinking the whole situation was over.

It wasn't

After living in the US and Quebec for 10 years I finally moved back home to Toronto. So I decided to look up some old friends, and sent her a email suggesting we get together and have some beers and chat. She called the police.

She told the police that I was abusive, and that she feared for her life, so I was arrested and charged for domestic violence(??)

The legal systems considers all men guilty in these situations, and I was forced to join a program called P.A.R.S (partner abuse response) And was forced to pay for it. (the only other option is jail) Thank god the councilor at the program realized that something was wrong with my situation, and joined up with the police to talk with her mother. (at my request) Her mother told them what she had told me. After this all charges were dropped.

Basically she used the legal system as a form of legal slander.

She did all this, because she was afraid that I would talk to one of her friends, and that they would find out the truth. She didn't want to be exposed for what she was.

Im terrified to get into another relationship, my trust in women has been destroyed.